recently

many things happened recently.
thanks for concerns from joanna who came to talk to me :D
really thanks dear, u are sweetsz :D
but i also noe tat u gt problems of your own. sorry for not sensitive to you.
coz i also abit emo these few days.

family problem, financial problem, love problem, trust issues, promises such
are really messing me up.
now, i almost ready to clear these problems one by one.
step by step, shall be done. :)

happy birthday to Kairong & Huxley.
Kairong, dun mess urself too much. i noe u are enjoying freedom but there is a price to pay. :D
Huxley, holidays doesnt extend. but can self-extend de. but make sure you are able to come back continue ur plans. :D
As to you both, im sorry tat i unable to attend urs birthday surprises. forgive me :)~

as for friends are concern abt me, i've changed.
if i have done u wrong, please forgive me as my values changes.
my main concern is studies, other will have to give way.
please forgive for not tagging along, forgive me of not talking to u often.
but some, some things im not going to clear up as it is against my principles. :)

anyway, whatever.
the end.

ps: those who are closer to me, dun worry. you still get the same amount of love but there will be slight difference :)

xice

Words

Don't say anything that you don't mean it.
i hate peoples say i can't stop or whatever reasons.
these doesn't prove that you are innocent.
it's just showing how ugly you are.
trusts and promise are taken, yet none of them is kept.

I shall reevaluate promises and trusts.
I shall not believe words again as words are meant to be used to gain trusts or self-gain purpose.
I shall not even believe what thy going to say next when thy was in tears or shattered emotions.
As history will not ever repeated

" These are my recent emotions. Shall drop it and never ever show kindness to such "

习惯寂寞

我想我是习惯寂寞的人。
因为，对于感情这部分。
我似乎是已经没有知觉了。
前几天，某种原因我似乎疯了。
但是现在，我觉得已经不重要了。
因为，我回到了寂寞的一个人。
因为，一个人的我不在感到寂寞。
反而，两个人或以上，我感到寂寞。
朋友或情人都无所谓。
因为我的情人在台湾，我只好等她回到我身边。
我们的诺言使得我们默默的等待。
所以，我因次不感到寂寞。一个人的时候。
对待别人好，我好像是在自我满足的表现。
可是，他人似乎当作是理所当然。
我觉得我好像是个笨蛋。
就像前几年，有人对我说。
“ 坏人不难当，普通人很简单，当好人是好像要当圣人。
别人有难的时候，就要你。 但他人不要你的时候，就会有很多理由把你推开。”
当时我的答案是 “ 没关系”
但是。。。
现在我的答案是 “好。我知到这么做了”
无言是非是最好的回答，但
它使得然让我有最好的回应。

你现在幸福吗？

你现在幸福吗？
依然妳有了他，我就不能再进入你的世界。
我对妳好也只能到这里。
反正都只是单方面的关系，没有必要。
只有朋友了。
对你而言，可能我只不过是普通朋友。
而我只感觉到普通朋友的感情。
不要再说我们是好朋友。
在此我会祝福妳。

Results is out

Results is out.
I got 2.310 gpa.
Improvement is shown.
last sem is around 2.0 there. i guess.
increased by 0.3.
Seriously, im happy with this results.
Points so low? It's depends how you see.
Everyone is different, not only physical, minds are different.
My motive is to pass every modules.
Currently im still on the tracks.

As for others who thinks that they did not do well.
Ask yourself, did you gave your best? if not, you have a very big problem.
Then let me ask you this question,
" When would you give your best? "
For me, I gave my best. maybe not.
I don't think luck is the important factor, maybe it is for some realistic reasons.
but still, learning is a progress. Do not feel that you are not good at it.
Everyone is at learning stage, mistakes can be made. No one is blaming at you.
When you are in the working stage, mistakes are not forgiven.
So, makes mistakes now. At least you can be forgiven now. Not later.


"How about yours? What is your motive?"

zq

Scars

In the medical world, there are lots of methods to heal the scars.
Those are the superficial scars, takes days to heal, years to disappear.
But how about non-superficial scars? way more deeper in humans body.
Emotional scars? Memories scars?
There are no easy way for or simple methods to heal the scars.
It's maybe takes forever for the scars to heal, not even to disappear.
Maybe it will not heal.
Time will heal? it's depends...

" Code Blue 2 ", in this drama
they talked about surgery scars.
there is a quote.
" Only when you feel the pain, you understand how to heal the pain "
Today's feeling is
" learn to give up is the first step to solve a problem when problem is unable to solve "

zq

叶子 Leaf

叶子　是不会飞翔的翅膀
Leaf is a flightless wing
翅膀　是落在天上的叶子
Wings are fallen leaf from the sky
天堂　原来应该不是妄想
Heaven, is not an imaginary dream
只是我早已经遗忘
I thought i have already forgotten
当初怎么开始飞翔
When do i learn to fly
孤单　是一个人的狂欢
Loneliness is a person enjoying by itself
狂欢　是一群人的孤单
Party are formed when lonely peoples gather
爱情　原来的开始是陪伴
Love is started by staying together side by side
但我也渐渐地遗忘
But i starting to be forgotten
当时是怎样有人陪伴
When do i had someone stayed by my side
我一个人吃饭　旅行　到处走走停停
I stayed, live, and starting to move on
也一个人看书　写信　自己对话谈心
And read, write, talked to myself self-conscience
只是心又飘到了哪里
Just that my heart has flowed to a place
就连自己看也看不清
Even i myself cannot to be seen
我想我不仅仅是失去你
I have thoughts not only i have lost you

" we forgotten how do we started to be together "

zq