dead blog. im back to spam abit here and there.
still haven slp yet coz there is something bothering me.
but nevertheless, life's still goes on.
kay, what should i spam?
"Failure is always an option"
i love this quotes by savage adam from mythbusters
or
"Quack, damn u"
by jamie hyneman from mythbusters.
these peoples love failure, why?
coz u can collect data. every failure is a vaild data. lol. i juz love them.
how about school life?
to be honest, relationship is a two way bridge.
if one stop and the other stop too, yet still waiting for each other to cross.
we are done. tat's for sure.
im can be very friendly, very kind. but.
sometimes im not. or rather im too good that peoples started giving shit.
drop tat! fuck off, out of my sight.
anyway, is not bothering me. neither do i care. i noe it's over.
" Peoples are fucking boring "
the zq u noe, it gone too. once u lose it, u will nvr see it return.
Locke
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Updates*
after presentation,
this is the first time that i did not enjoy the project.
actually, this is the second time.
seems that every project from last sem til now,
everything is not going smoothly.
examples, like, sense of urgency, deadlines, work to be done,
things to be done, important what are you doing, things you should not forget.. etc
this time, i can say one thing, i give up on the project. this project.
from the start of the sems, i'm trying to finish asap but peoples just ignore the fact that we are facing new stuffs and most of them are very reluctant to learn new skills.
the matter of fact is, i also agree that it's is hard to face it when you are dealing all sort of problems, such as schools, BGR, family problem, personal problem.
but in the end, who's working, and who's not. everyone have eyes.
i must admit that this time i have not taken responsibility as a leader, OR
in my context, not tanking things up.
sadly, i told myself not to tank stuffs for others, but in the end, im tanking again. but it is much less in volume. but in the end, i didn't finish my task.
because some people don't use brain to program and every things say i dunno, i dunno, i dunno, i dunno. this is very very frustrating. i mean, if u dunno, y cant u go find out the answer? or are u intent to leave it like this. 13 weeks on learning new programming language and yet u still can tell me i dunno. darn it. dammit.
anyway, Crtl+A -> Delete > are you sure? Y
I'm throwing all the complaints and nonsenses away.
I believe that no one wants to do project with me, or rather,
i dun wan to do project with anyone.
i can carry my own weight, i shall just ignore those faggots who only know to complaint and do nothing.
this is the first time that i did not enjoy the project.
actually, this is the second time.
seems that every project from last sem til now,
everything is not going smoothly.
examples, like, sense of urgency, deadlines, work to be done,
things to be done, important what are you doing, things you should not forget.. etc
this time, i can say one thing, i give up on the project. this project.
from the start of the sems, i'm trying to finish asap but peoples just ignore the fact that we are facing new stuffs and most of them are very reluctant to learn new skills.
the matter of fact is, i also agree that it's is hard to face it when you are dealing all sort of problems, such as schools, BGR, family problem, personal problem.
but in the end, who's working, and who's not. everyone have eyes.
i must admit that this time i have not taken responsibility as a leader, OR
in my context, not tanking things up.
sadly, i told myself not to tank stuffs for others, but in the end, im tanking again. but it is much less in volume. but in the end, i didn't finish my task.
because some people don't use brain to program and every things say i dunno, i dunno, i dunno, i dunno. this is very very frustrating. i mean, if u dunno, y cant u go find out the answer? or are u intent to leave it like this. 13 weeks on learning new programming language and yet u still can tell me i dunno. darn it. dammit.
anyway, Crtl+A -> Delete > are you sure? Y
I'm throwing all the complaints and nonsenses away.
I believe that no one wants to do project with me, or rather,
i dun wan to do project with anyone.
i can carry my own weight, i shall just ignore those faggots who only know to complaint and do nothing.
Monday, June 21, 2010
UP
what's up lately?
nothing much,
go to school once a while in the two week term break
mostly stay at home reading stuffs and recharge my physical and mental batteries
intensive reading and studying. although i slack a lot most of the days :)
but still, it's quite boring XXXXX no no no... just been normal relaxing day which i haven really look on to it. nice :)
lots of problems have solved, i guess so. coz most of the problems have been pushed back. nothing to cry over where time is not right :/ heh
i am now drinking bubble tea at the void deck while typing my blog. not bad :) nice feeling thou :? but still kinda lonely here, miss my gf at TAIWAN although we have already break. oh well, i miss the lovely days :=
i believe i have change alot in my personality, character, the way of thinking.
coz i have been too kind or soft to most of the peoples.
where i get alot of scolding from my buddy, all along these years.
daniel and jeannie often say,
" zzq ah, without us ah, u sure kanna eaten die die (jia ka si si) by other peoples "
haha, i agree but i believe that i have nothing to lose.
but now, i cannot spend time with others where they think is it.
coz time is too important to me.
i have wasted alot of time on alot of things. too much.
that's sound so emo, but oh well. end. full stop. that's it. heh
signed off. check out. i be back some other time :)
my dear blog :]
nothing much,
go to school once a while in the two week term break
mostly stay at home reading stuffs and recharge my physical and mental batteries
intensive reading and studying. although i slack a lot most of the days :)
but still, it's quite boring XXXXX no no no... just been normal relaxing day which i haven really look on to it. nice :)
lots of problems have solved, i guess so. coz most of the problems have been pushed back. nothing to cry over where time is not right :/ heh
i am now drinking bubble tea at the void deck while typing my blog. not bad :) nice feeling thou :? but still kinda lonely here, miss my gf at TAIWAN although we have already break. oh well, i miss the lovely days :=
i believe i have change alot in my personality, character, the way of thinking.
coz i have been too kind or soft to most of the peoples.
where i get alot of scolding from my buddy, all along these years.
daniel and jeannie often say,
" zzq ah, without us ah, u sure kanna eaten die die (jia ka si si) by other peoples "
haha, i agree but i believe that i have nothing to lose.
but now, i cannot spend time with others where they think is it.
coz time is too important to me.
i have wasted alot of time on alot of things. too much.
that's sound so emo, but oh well. end. full stop. that's it. heh
signed off. check out. i be back some other time :)
my dear blog :]
Friday, May 28, 2010
my life brother
just now went out with my dear brother, sani tan.
sudden call from him and we are out for supper.
we meet at the flats void deck and out we go to chong pang nasi lemak.
we chat for awhile and talks alot of things recently happening.
he reflected that i, zq, currently he felt i changed. a lot. from the start at the point when in army.
i tot that i changed in to good ways, but he say that i changed to a emo face which is not he have know before.
the bubbly, cheerful, LoL zzq. they used to call me zzq. or ah qing. haha
i didnt actually expect that answers from him. haha.
asked about my current problems, sharing thru him.
he gave a lot of encouraging words, cheer me up, actually made me almost cry.
damn him, how dare he made me going to cry. lucky i did hold back. or else damn malu.
he really is my life brother, not only respect, something even bigger than my own brother.
im so thankful that he talk to me, help me.
lately i been too stress up due to a lot of problems and reasons.
he told me, relex, just follow what u wanted to do, take in problems with no sweat. which i used to be.
thanks again, sani tan. :) one of the few i trusted in my life.
zzq
sudden call from him and we are out for supper.
we meet at the flats void deck and out we go to chong pang nasi lemak.
we chat for awhile and talks alot of things recently happening.
he reflected that i, zq, currently he felt i changed. a lot. from the start at the point when in army.
i tot that i changed in to good ways, but he say that i changed to a emo face which is not he have know before.
the bubbly, cheerful, LoL zzq. they used to call me zzq. or ah qing. haha
i didnt actually expect that answers from him. haha.
asked about my current problems, sharing thru him.
he gave a lot of encouraging words, cheer me up, actually made me almost cry.
damn him, how dare he made me going to cry. lucky i did hold back. or else damn malu.
he really is my life brother, not only respect, something even bigger than my own brother.
im so thankful that he talk to me, help me.
lately i been too stress up due to a lot of problems and reasons.
he told me, relex, just follow what u wanted to do, take in problems with no sweat. which i used to be.
thanks again, sani tan. :) one of the few i trusted in my life.
zzq
Friday, May 21, 2010
Stop! In the name of LOVE - globe
Quelque part entre minuit et I'aube
Je te voyais flotter dans mon reve
Et un soupir entre tes levres
Ballottee par la brise d'automne
Hypnotysee par cette flamme d'amour
Dans cette ombre de tristesse
Telle une feuille morte
Sous cette lune blafarde
Tes larmes inondent mon coeur fragile
Et dans ce ciel sans nuages
Tous mes sourires etaient inutiles
A plat ventre,les yeux clos
Esperant malgre tout
C'est a peine si je t'endendais
Trop timide pour pouvoir te dire
Quelque part entre minuit et I'aube
Je te voyais flotter dans mon reve
Avec un sourire un peu tremblant
Baby,baby,I'm aware of where you go
Each time you leave my door
I watch you walk down the street
Knowing your other love you'll meet
This time before'you run to her
Leaving me alone and hurt
After I've been good to you
After I've been sweet to you
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
When the world outside of you
Seems to go too fast for you
Then stop to rest,take a deen breath
And melt into this flow of life
Don't lose your presence of mind
Whatever may happen
Even the red sky turns to grey
You have to fly
I see you crying in the rain
Putting your head on the line
Your love to me can be a strain
How can I ease your pain…
Following the morning star
I'm passing you by
Leaving you in your delusions
Our love never die
When the world outside of you
Seems to go too fast for you
Then stop to rest,take a deep breath
And melt into this flow of life
Our love never die
Together we'll reach the sky
I've known of your, your secret nights
I've even seen her maybe once or twice
But is her sweet expression
Worth more than my love and affection?
This time before you leave my arms
And rush off to her charms
Haven't I been good to you?
Haven't I been sweet to you?
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart…
Je te voyais flotter dans mon reve
Et un soupir entre tes levres
Ballottee par la brise d'automne
Hypnotysee par cette flamme d'amour
Dans cette ombre de tristesse
Telle une feuille morte
Sous cette lune blafarde
Tes larmes inondent mon coeur fragile
Et dans ce ciel sans nuages
Tous mes sourires etaient inutiles
A plat ventre,les yeux clos
Esperant malgre tout
C'est a peine si je t'endendais
Trop timide pour pouvoir te dire
Quelque part entre minuit et I'aube
Je te voyais flotter dans mon reve
Avec un sourire un peu tremblant
Baby,baby,I'm aware of where you go
Each time you leave my door
I watch you walk down the street
Knowing your other love you'll meet
This time before'you run to her
Leaving me alone and hurt
After I've been good to you
After I've been sweet to you
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
When the world outside of you
Seems to go too fast for you
Then stop to rest,take a deen breath
And melt into this flow of life
Don't lose your presence of mind
Whatever may happen
Even the red sky turns to grey
You have to fly
I see you crying in the rain
Putting your head on the line
Your love to me can be a strain
How can I ease your pain…
Following the morning star
I'm passing you by
Leaving you in your delusions
Our love never die
When the world outside of you
Seems to go too fast for you
Then stop to rest,take a deep breath
And melt into this flow of life
Our love never die
Together we'll reach the sky
I've known of your, your secret nights
I've even seen her maybe once or twice
But is her sweet expression
Worth more than my love and affection?
This time before you leave my arms
And rush off to her charms
Haven't I been good to you?
Haven't I been sweet to you?
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over, think it over,
think it over, think it over
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart…
Thursday, May 20, 2010
today learned
friends? do u mean at school? i dun have any. in fact they are not in my list.
i felt disappointment these few weeks.
i assume everyone came to school to study, get a diploma and up to uni.
today, it's proved. these are all talks. nonsense. rubbish. just all talks.
making noise in the class is the correct behavior?
interrupting the class where this person feels that they are right to do so?
do not feel remorse about disturbing the ones who are keen to learn?
they feel tat we are friends, i should understand them of making noise in the class where i should not scream or shout at them OR telling them to keep the voices down / telling them to shut up, it is my wrong to do so?
ha~ haha~
nice joke you have.
why should i bear these noises?
why should i understand the behind of making these noise?
why should i try to learn tat interrupting the class where it's wasted time on the lecturer trying to tell the whole group tat respecting the lecturer and understand their shoes?
why should i?
just because im in this class so i have to be in this kind of nonsense.
just because im in this clique so i have to bear with this.
just because im keen to learn doesn't mean tat others are keen to learn,
so i have to bear the noise. no choice. im in such a class, suck thumb.
today i learned, friends i made in school is nothing.
they do not understand the pain that i going thru now.
im keen to learn yet i must bear with this in order to stay in the class, just because i dont have a choice.
ha~ hahaha~
very nice joke i have here, isn't funny? sure is. :D
" i didn't know that i interrupting your fun on making noise in class,
i am so sorry. please carry on as you may wish to continue.
once again, i am so sorry "
i felt disappointment these few weeks.
i assume everyone came to school to study, get a diploma and up to uni.
today, it's proved. these are all talks. nonsense. rubbish. just all talks.
making noise in the class is the correct behavior?
interrupting the class where this person feels that they are right to do so?
do not feel remorse about disturbing the ones who are keen to learn?
they feel tat we are friends, i should understand them of making noise in the class where i should not scream or shout at them OR telling them to keep the voices down / telling them to shut up, it is my wrong to do so?
ha~ haha~
nice joke you have.
why should i bear these noises?
why should i understand the behind of making these noise?
why should i try to learn tat interrupting the class where it's wasted time on the lecturer trying to tell the whole group tat respecting the lecturer and understand their shoes?
why should i?
just because im in this class so i have to be in this kind of nonsense.
just because im in this clique so i have to bear with this.
just because im keen to learn doesn't mean tat others are keen to learn,
so i have to bear the noise. no choice. im in such a class, suck thumb.
today i learned, friends i made in school is nothing.
they do not understand the pain that i going thru now.
im keen to learn yet i must bear with this in order to stay in the class, just because i dont have a choice.
ha~ hahaha~
very nice joke i have here, isn't funny? sure is. :D
" i didn't know that i interrupting your fun on making noise in class,
i am so sorry. please carry on as you may wish to continue.
once again, i am so sorry "
Sunday, May 16, 2010
100次对不起
今天公司早下班,我打了通电话给他
“喂,我今天比较早下班,你来载我回家好不好?”
“好,等我五分钟”“五分钟?我就在你家旁边耶”
“我总要打扮一下啊”
“好啦,快一点喔”
下午2:00,太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血,我站在树荫下挥动着手,
虽然没凉到哪里去,但是扇总比不扇好.
五分钟过了,他还没来,我看看手表,有点不高兴,
十分钟过了,他还没到..,该不会出了什么事吧?
呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴,十五分钟过了,他总算到了.“怎么这么慢?
”他一副无所谓的样子说:“没啊,看个电视”
什么?看个电视?你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来?
我没有说话,没有拿安全帽,没有上车的瞪着他.
“对不起.”
这是他第一次对我说对不起,他是一个很大男人主义,爱面子的男生,
所以他从不像女生低头说对不起,我看着他,
好吧,似乎面有惭色,我带上安全帽,让他载我回家.
他总是这样,从来不解释,不争论,不跟我吵架,只跟我说对不起,
有些事,不是一句对不起就能解决的,
但是他都跟我道歉了,我也就没再追究下去,
他说,我是第一个让他说对不起的女生. 认错需要很大的勇气,
但是他从来都没有改进他的错误,对不起反而变成一种打发我的话.
在他说第59次对不起时,我流着泪,
低下头说:你不要再跟我说对不起了,
如果你无法改变,就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会,相信你会改变.
他轻轻的拥着我,说了第60句对不起.
虽然如此,他还是没有改变,不做任何的解释,
我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我.
“你最近怎么了?”
“没有啊. ”
“那你为什么心情不好? ”
“没有啊.”
“又是没有啊,你除了这句话以外没有别的吗?
你知不知道我很担心,很没有安全感,
你到底有没有当我是你女朋友?”
“对不起”
“我不要听你说对不起”
我挂了电话,他也没有打来,他根本就不在乎我,也许,我们该结束了..........
这是他说的第99句对不起.....
从那天开始,我再也没有找过他,他也没有打电话给我,
有时候,我会接到一通无声的电话,但是我喂了几声,就挂了,
有一种直觉是他,但是他为什么都不说话?
一个月之后,我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他,
我在教室外东张西望的,就是没有看到他的人影,
我随便抓了一个男生来问.
“同学,请问一下,梦伟今天有来吗?”
“他休学了 ”“啊?为什么?什么时候的事? ”
“他已经一个月没来了”
“...喔..谢谢.一个月..
一个月没来,怎么会呢?”
我跌跌撞撞的回到家..
拨他的手机:您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱,请在嘟一声....
我挂了电话,打到他家,响了好久都没有人接,怎么会?
全家移民吗?他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样,没有一点痕迹.
他该不会另结新欢了吧?
我开始胡思乱想,我找不到他..,
正当我烦恼的时候,电话突然响了,
是阿立打来的,
他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友.
“喂,你还在干嘛啊?”
“什么?”
“梦伟在医院啦”
“真的?他怎么了? ”
“没有啦,他在○○医院,就是你上次住的那一家”
“我马上去”
我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院,
在医院看到了他爸爸和妈妈,
我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后,就急忙的飞奔而去.
他躺在床上,眼睛看着我,没有说话,没有起床,一动也不动的.
“喂,你怎么了?为什么不通知我呢? ”
他没有回答我,只是一直用同样的眼神看着我.
“回答我啊,你为什么不说话?”
他眼角留下了一滴泪,身体仿佛用了最大的力气,牵动着嘴角
“...对不起....”
说完,他闭上了眼睛.
“喂,你别装了好不好,
为什么要说对不起,
我不要你说对不起啊,
你起来啊,
回答我啊”
我哭倒在他床边,拉着他的衣服哭喊着:你为什么要说对不起,连说服我的理由都没有?
我不会原谅你,你起来啊,
你说对不起没有用啊,
你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你,我求求你....
睁开眼睛啊....
这是他说的一百句对不起...
一群医生和护士拉开我,开始抢救他,
我全身没有力气再站起来,
我的头脑一片空白,眼前一片漆黑...
他没有离开这个世界,只是我永远都无法触摸到他,
但他有时也会在我的梦中出现,告诉我他过的好不好.
他还是陪着我,
还是活着,
在我心里,
他依然如昔,
还是会笑着叫我咏熙,
叫我老婆,
只是..
他不再对我说对不起了....
过了几个月,他妈妈来找我,
给了我一个盒子,里面装的,
是一百张照片,每一张照片的背面,都写着它让我生气的事情.
第一次对不起,老婆,
我今天不是故意迟到的,
我也知道理由很烂,
但是我真的不忍心说实话,
我在出门前突然心脏绞痛,
但是我已经尽量赶了,
原谅我好吗?
第二次对不起?
老婆,我..........
第三次对不起,
老婆, 我............................................................................
第一百次对不起,
老婆,
我不是狠心要丢下你,
只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子,
为你带上戒指,
你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩,
也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩,
原谅我不能给你幸福,
我会化作天使,守护着你,看着你得到幸福,
答应我,
别哭,
我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子,
我爱你.
bye
梦伟我怎么可能不哭,
你的要求太严苛了,
最后一张照片,
是他在医院理拍的,
照片上他笑的很灿烂,
他变的好瘦,脸色好苍白,
但是他还是露出了笑容,拍这第一百张照片.
在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候,
我没有陪着他.
对不起.
我抱着他的照片,泪流不止……
"如果我还以直深爱着你
*这是一篇网络小说 “最感人的第100次对不起” 取的。
“喂,我今天比较早下班,你来载我回家好不好?”
“好,等我五分钟”“五分钟?我就在你家旁边耶”
“我总要打扮一下啊”
“好啦,快一点喔”
下午2:00,太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血,我站在树荫下挥动着手,
虽然没凉到哪里去,但是扇总比不扇好.
五分钟过了,他还没来,我看看手表,有点不高兴,
十分钟过了,他还没到..,该不会出了什么事吧?
呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴,十五分钟过了,他总算到了.“怎么这么慢?
”他一副无所谓的样子说:“没啊,看个电视”
什么?看个电视?你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来?
我没有说话,没有拿安全帽,没有上车的瞪着他.
“对不起.”
这是他第一次对我说对不起,他是一个很大男人主义,爱面子的男生,
所以他从不像女生低头说对不起,我看着他,
好吧,似乎面有惭色,我带上安全帽,让他载我回家.
他总是这样,从来不解释,不争论,不跟我吵架,只跟我说对不起,
有些事,不是一句对不起就能解决的,
但是他都跟我道歉了,我也就没再追究下去,
他说,我是第一个让他说对不起的女生. 认错需要很大的勇气,
但是他从来都没有改进他的错误,对不起反而变成一种打发我的话.
在他说第59次对不起时,我流着泪,
低下头说:你不要再跟我说对不起了,
如果你无法改变,就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会,相信你会改变.
他轻轻的拥着我,说了第60句对不起.
虽然如此,他还是没有改变,不做任何的解释,
我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我.
“你最近怎么了?”
“没有啊. ”
“那你为什么心情不好? ”
“没有啊.”
“又是没有啊,你除了这句话以外没有别的吗?
你知不知道我很担心,很没有安全感,
你到底有没有当我是你女朋友?”
“对不起”
“我不要听你说对不起”
我挂了电话,他也没有打来,他根本就不在乎我,也许,我们该结束了..........
这是他说的第99句对不起.....
从那天开始,我再也没有找过他,他也没有打电话给我,
有时候,我会接到一通无声的电话,但是我喂了几声,就挂了,
有一种直觉是他,但是他为什么都不说话?
一个月之后,我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他,
我在教室外东张西望的,就是没有看到他的人影,
我随便抓了一个男生来问.
“同学,请问一下,梦伟今天有来吗?”
“他休学了 ”“啊?为什么?什么时候的事? ”
“他已经一个月没来了”
“...喔..谢谢.一个月..
一个月没来,怎么会呢?”
我跌跌撞撞的回到家..
拨他的手机:您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱,请在嘟一声....
我挂了电话,打到他家,响了好久都没有人接,怎么会?
全家移民吗?他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样,没有一点痕迹.
他该不会另结新欢了吧?
我开始胡思乱想,我找不到他..,
正当我烦恼的时候,电话突然响了,
是阿立打来的,
他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友.
“喂,你还在干嘛啊?”
“什么?”
“梦伟在医院啦”
“真的?他怎么了? ”
“没有啦,他在○○医院,就是你上次住的那一家”
“我马上去”
我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院,
在医院看到了他爸爸和妈妈,
我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后,就急忙的飞奔而去.
他躺在床上,眼睛看着我,没有说话,没有起床,一动也不动的.
“喂,你怎么了?为什么不通知我呢? ”
他没有回答我,只是一直用同样的眼神看着我.
“回答我啊,你为什么不说话?”
他眼角留下了一滴泪,身体仿佛用了最大的力气,牵动着嘴角
“...对不起....”
说完,他闭上了眼睛.
“喂,你别装了好不好,
为什么要说对不起,
我不要你说对不起啊,
你起来啊,
回答我啊”
我哭倒在他床边,拉着他的衣服哭喊着:你为什么要说对不起,连说服我的理由都没有?
我不会原谅你,你起来啊,
你说对不起没有用啊,
你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你,我求求你....
睁开眼睛啊....
这是他说的一百句对不起...
一群医生和护士拉开我,开始抢救他,
我全身没有力气再站起来,
我的头脑一片空白,眼前一片漆黑...
他没有离开这个世界,只是我永远都无法触摸到他,
但他有时也会在我的梦中出现,告诉我他过的好不好.
他还是陪着我,
还是活着,
在我心里,
他依然如昔,
还是会笑着叫我咏熙,
叫我老婆,
只是..
他不再对我说对不起了....
过了几个月,他妈妈来找我,
给了我一个盒子,里面装的,
是一百张照片,每一张照片的背面,都写着它让我生气的事情.
第一次对不起,老婆,
我今天不是故意迟到的,
我也知道理由很烂,
但是我真的不忍心说实话,
我在出门前突然心脏绞痛,
但是我已经尽量赶了,
原谅我好吗?
第二次对不起?
老婆,我..........
第三次对不起,
老婆, 我............................................................................
第一百次对不起,
老婆,
我不是狠心要丢下你,
只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子,
为你带上戒指,
你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩,
也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩,
原谅我不能给你幸福,
我会化作天使,守护着你,看着你得到幸福,
答应我,
别哭,
我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子,
我爱你.
bye
梦伟我怎么可能不哭,
你的要求太严苛了,
最后一张照片,
是他在医院理拍的,
照片上他笑的很灿烂,
他变的好瘦,脸色好苍白,
但是他还是露出了笑容,拍这第一百张照片.
在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候,
我没有陪着他.
对不起.
我抱着他的照片,泪流不止……
"如果我还以直深爱着你
你是否还会待在我身边？"
"如果我还一直在乎着你
你是否会再多看我一眼？"
"是否我已不存在了
你才感觉到我的离开？"
"是否我已离开了
你才感觉到我对你的好？"
*这是一篇网络小说 “最感人的第100次对不起” 取的。
Thursday, May 13, 2010
普通朋友
=-普通朋友-=
等待~ 我随时随地在等待
作你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱~
我在~ 你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉若到深渊
多无奈~
我愿意改变~ （what can i do~)
从新再来一遍 （just give a chance~)
我无法只是普通朋友~
感情已那么深 叫我怎么下~
当你说 hey
i only wanna be your friend
做个朋友
我在 你心中只是 just a friend
不是情人
我感谢你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱还是收不回来
so why i just can't be your friend
等待~ 我随时随地在等待
作你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱~
我在~ 你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉若到深渊
多无奈~
我愿意改变~ （what can i do~)
从新再来一遍 （just give a chance~)
我无法只是普通朋友~
感情已那么深 叫我怎么下~
当你说 hey
i only wanna be your friend
做个朋友
我在 你心中只是 just a friend
不是情人
我感谢你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱还是收不回来
so why i just can't be your friend
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
hate
i hate people say sorry after damage is done.
then y do u deal damage at first?
i really hate this kind of people now days.
these peoples are disgusting, max to the core.
why don't just admit that you do it purposely?
every actions bring a purposely,
don't tell me that u talk for nothing, talk because of nothing?
seriously, please stay out of my sight.
hate it. hate theses kind of peoples give all sort of reasons and say that they are been forced to do so.
absurd. disgusted. hated.
" we don't cry over the spilled milk, but what if u do it the second times, and again and again. "
zq
then y do u deal damage at first?
i really hate this kind of people now days.
these peoples are disgusting, max to the core.
why don't just admit that you do it purposely?
every actions bring a purposely,
don't tell me that u talk for nothing, talk because of nothing?
seriously, please stay out of my sight.
hate it. hate theses kind of peoples give all sort of reasons and say that they are been forced to do so.
absurd. disgusted. hated.
" we don't cry over the spilled milk, but what if u do it the second times, and again and again. "
zq
Monday, May 3, 2010
Promise
I remember every single promises i made.
Some i fulfill, some not.
but i take my words seriously.
some promises had made to me.
i take those seriously too.
but these promises forgotten already.
i won't think about forcing to fulfill promises that gave me.
but still emotionally, i feel is a betray to me.
And i have very minimum of tolerance for betray.
i can take insults, bad words, or even curses.
but not betray. as i will never even look at you once and for all.
xice
p.s i'm back. this is the real me. not zq anymore
Some i fulfill, some not.
but i take my words seriously.
some promises had made to me.
i take those seriously too.
but these promises forgotten already.
i won't think about forcing to fulfill promises that gave me.
but still emotionally, i feel is a betray to me.
And i have very minimum of tolerance for betray.
i can take insults, bad words, or even curses.
but not betray. as i will never even look at you once and for all.
xice
p.s i'm back. this is the real me. not zq anymore
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
recently
many things happened recently.
thanks for concerns from joanna who came to talk to me :D
really thanks dear, u are sweetsz :D
but i also noe tat u gt problems of your own. sorry for not sensitive to you.
coz i also abit emo these few days.
family problem, financial problem, love problem, trust issues, promises such
are really messing me up.
now, i almost ready to clear these problems one by one.
step by step, shall be done. :)
happy birthday to Kairong & Huxley.
Kairong, dun mess urself too much. i noe u are enjoying freedom but there is a price to pay. :D
Huxley, holidays doesnt extend. but can self-extend de. but make sure you are able to come back continue ur plans. :D
As to you both, im sorry tat i unable to attend urs birthday surprises. forgive me :)~
as for friends are concern abt me, i've changed.
if i have done u wrong, please forgive me as my values changes.
my main concern is studies, other will have to give way.
please forgive for not tagging along, forgive me of not talking to u often.
but some, some things im not going to clear up as it is against my principles. :)
anyway, whatever.
the end.
ps: those who are closer to me, dun worry. you still get the same amount of love but there will be slight difference :)
xice
thanks for concerns from joanna who came to talk to me :D
really thanks dear, u are sweetsz :D
but i also noe tat u gt problems of your own. sorry for not sensitive to you.
coz i also abit emo these few days.
family problem, financial problem, love problem, trust issues, promises such
are really messing me up.
now, i almost ready to clear these problems one by one.
step by step, shall be done. :)
happy birthday to Kairong & Huxley.
Kairong, dun mess urself too much. i noe u are enjoying freedom but there is a price to pay. :D
Huxley, holidays doesnt extend. but can self-extend de. but make sure you are able to come back continue ur plans. :D
As to you both, im sorry tat i unable to attend urs birthday surprises. forgive me :)~
as for friends are concern abt me, i've changed.
if i have done u wrong, please forgive me as my values changes.
my main concern is studies, other will have to give way.
please forgive for not tagging along, forgive me of not talking to u often.
but some, some things im not going to clear up as it is against my principles. :)
anyway, whatever.
the end.
ps: those who are closer to me, dun worry. you still get the same amount of love but there will be slight difference :)
xice
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Words
Don't say anything that you don't mean it.
i hate peoples say i can't stop or whatever reasons.
these doesn't prove that you are innocent.
it's just showing how ugly you are.
trusts and promise are taken, yet none of them is kept.
I shall reevaluate promises and trusts.
I shall not believe words again as words are meant to be used to gain trusts or self-gain purpose.
I shall not even believe what thy going to say next when thy was in tears or shattered emotions.
As history will not ever repeated
" These are my recent emotions. Shall drop it and never ever show kindness to such "
i hate peoples say i can't stop or whatever reasons.
these doesn't prove that you are innocent.
it's just showing how ugly you are.
trusts and promise are taken, yet none of them is kept.
I shall reevaluate promises and trusts.
I shall not believe words again as words are meant to be used to gain trusts or self-gain purpose.
I shall not even believe what thy going to say next when thy was in tears or shattered emotions.
As history will not ever repeated
" These are my recent emotions. Shall drop it and never ever show kindness to such "
Saturday, April 10, 2010
习惯寂寞
我想我是习惯寂寞的人。
因为，对于感情这部分。
我似乎是已经没有知觉了。
前几天，某种原因我似乎疯了。
但是现在，我觉得已经不重要了。
因为，我回到了寂寞的一个人。
因为，一个人的我不在感到寂寞。
反而，两个人或以上，我感到寂寞。
朋友或情人都无所谓。
因为我的情人在台湾，我只好等她回到我身边。
我们的诺言使得我们默默的等待。
所以，我因次不感到寂寞。一个人的时候。
对待别人好，我好像是在自我满足的表现。
可是，他人似乎当作是理所当然。
我觉得我好像是个笨蛋。
就像前几年，有人对我说。
“ 坏人不难当，普通人很简单，当好人是好像要当圣人。
别人有难的时候，就要你。 但他人不要你的时候，就会有很多理由把你推开。”
当时我的答案是 “ 没关系”
但是。。。
现在我的答案是 “好。我知到这么做了”
无言是非是最好的回答，但
它使得然让我有最好的回应。
因为，对于感情这部分。
我似乎是已经没有知觉了。
前几天，某种原因我似乎疯了。
但是现在，我觉得已经不重要了。
因为，我回到了寂寞的一个人。
因为，一个人的我不在感到寂寞。
反而，两个人或以上，我感到寂寞。
朋友或情人都无所谓。
因为我的情人在台湾，我只好等她回到我身边。
我们的诺言使得我们默默的等待。
所以，我因次不感到寂寞。一个人的时候。
对待别人好，我好像是在自我满足的表现。
可是，他人似乎当作是理所当然。
我觉得我好像是个笨蛋。
就像前几年，有人对我说。
“ 坏人不难当，普通人很简单，当好人是好像要当圣人。
别人有难的时候，就要你。 但他人不要你的时候，就会有很多理由把你推开。”
当时我的答案是 “ 没关系”
但是。。。
现在我的答案是 “好。我知到这么做了”
无言是非是最好的回答，但
它使得然让我有最好的回应。
Friday, April 9, 2010
你现在幸福吗？
你现在幸福吗？
依然妳有了他，我就不能再进入你的世界。
我对妳好也只能到这里。
反正都只是单方面的关系，没有必要。
只有朋友了。
对你而言，可能我只不过是普通朋友。
而我只感觉到普通朋友的感情。
不要再说我们是好朋友。
在此我会祝福妳。
依然妳有了他，我就不能再进入你的世界。
我对妳好也只能到这里。
反正都只是单方面的关系，没有必要。
只有朋友了。
对你而言，可能我只不过是普通朋友。
而我只感觉到普通朋友的感情。
不要再说我们是好朋友。
在此我会祝福妳。
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Results is out
Results is out.
I got 2.310 gpa.
Improvement is shown.
last sem is around 2.0 there. i guess.
increased by 0.3.
Seriously, im happy with this results.
Points so low? It's depends how you see.
Everyone is different, not only physical, minds are different.
My motive is to pass every modules.
Currently im still on the tracks.
As for others who thinks that they did not do well.
Ask yourself, did you gave your best? if not, you have a very big problem.
Then let me ask you this question,
" When would you give your best? "
For me, I gave my best. maybe not.
I don't think luck is the important factor, maybe it is for some realistic reasons.
but still, learning is a progress. Do not feel that you are not good at it.
Everyone is at learning stage, mistakes can be made. No one is blaming at you.
When you are in the working stage, mistakes are not forgiven.
So, makes mistakes now. At least you can be forgiven now. Not later.
"How about yours? What is your motive?"
zq
I got 2.310 gpa.
Improvement is shown.
last sem is around 2.0 there. i guess.
increased by 0.3.
Seriously, im happy with this results.
Points so low? It's depends how you see.
Everyone is different, not only physical, minds are different.
My motive is to pass every modules.
Currently im still on the tracks.
As for others who thinks that they did not do well.
Ask yourself, did you gave your best? if not, you have a very big problem.
Then let me ask you this question,
" When would you give your best? "
For me, I gave my best. maybe not.
I don't think luck is the important factor, maybe it is for some realistic reasons.
but still, learning is a progress. Do not feel that you are not good at it.
Everyone is at learning stage, mistakes can be made. No one is blaming at you.
When you are in the working stage, mistakes are not forgiven.
So, makes mistakes now. At least you can be forgiven now. Not later.
"How about yours? What is your motive?"
zq
Monday, March 22, 2010
Scars
In the medical world, there are lots of methods to heal the scars.
Those are the superficial scars, takes days to heal, years to disappear.
But how about non-superficial scars? way more deeper in humans body.
Emotional scars? Memories scars?
There are no easy way for or simple methods to heal the scars.
It's maybe takes forever for the scars to heal, not even to disappear.
Maybe it will not heal.
Time will heal? it's depends...
" Code Blue 2 ", in this drama
they talked about surgery scars.
there is a quote.
" Only when you feel the pain, you understand how to heal the pain "
Today's feeling is
" learn to give up is the first step to solve a problem when problem is unable to solve "
zq
Those are the superficial scars, takes days to heal, years to disappear.
But how about non-superficial scars? way more deeper in humans body.
Emotional scars? Memories scars?
There are no easy way for or simple methods to heal the scars.
It's maybe takes forever for the scars to heal, not even to disappear.
Maybe it will not heal.
Time will heal? it's depends...
" Code Blue 2 ", in this drama
they talked about surgery scars.
there is a quote.
" Only when you feel the pain, you understand how to heal the pain "
Today's feeling is
" learn to give up is the first step to solve a problem when problem is unable to solve "
zq
Sunday, March 21, 2010
叶子 Leaf
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
Leaf is a flightless wing
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
Wings are fallen leaf from the sky
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
Heaven, is not an imaginary dream
只是我早已经遗忘
I thought i have already forgotten
当初怎么开始飞翔
When do i learn to fly
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
Loneliness is a person enjoying by itself
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
Party are formed when lonely peoples gather
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
Love is started by staying together side by side
但我也渐渐地遗忘
But i starting to be forgotten
当时是怎样有人陪伴
When do i had someone stayed by my side
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
I stayed, live, and starting to move on
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
And read, write, talked to myself self-conscience
只是心又飘到了哪里
Just that my heart has flowed to a place
就连自己看也看不清
Even i myself cannot to be seen
我想我不仅仅是失去你
I have thoughts not only i have lost you
" we forgotten how do we started to be together "
zq
Leaf is a flightless wing
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
Wings are fallen leaf from the sky
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
Heaven, is not an imaginary dream
只是我早已经遗忘
I thought i have already forgotten
当初怎么开始飞翔
When do i learn to fly
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
Loneliness is a person enjoying by itself
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
Party are formed when lonely peoples gather
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
Love is started by staying together side by side
但我也渐渐地遗忘
But i starting to be forgotten
当时是怎样有人陪伴
When do i had someone stayed by my side
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
I stayed, live, and starting to move on
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
And read, write, talked to myself self-conscience
只是心又飘到了哪里
Just that my heart has flowed to a place
就连自己看也看不清
Even i myself cannot to be seen
我想我不仅仅是失去你
I have thoughts not only i have lost you
" we forgotten how do we started to be together "
zq
Monday, March 15, 2010
星情
思念是一种很玄的东西
如影~随形
无声又无息出没在心底
转眼~吞没我在寂默里
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
你把我灌醉
你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪
我拼命挽回
傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜
你在一公尺不到的面前
手拼命挥还是往下坠
眼神那么绝冻结一切不让我挽回
我在一公尺之外的世界
一辈子回不了的原点
我这才发现你离我有多么远
我只有成全让你离开我身边
如影~随形
无声又无息出没在心底
转眼~吞没我在寂默里
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
整条街
都是恋爱的人
我独自走在暖风的夜
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭能不能给我一首歌的时间紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
你把我灌醉
你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪
我拼命挽回
傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜
你在一公尺不到的面前
手拼命挥还是往下坠
眼神那么绝冻结一切不让我挽回
我在一公尺之外的世界
一辈子回不了的原点
我这才发现你离我有多么远
我只有成全让你离开我身边
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
feelings
I feels very sad for my bro here.
he gt a very bad issue wif some people.
although in this issue, is really very normal but still..
if issue not treated well, it can really go bad.
hurt are made, but this is not about fixing it back.
it still way back to the root, heart.
if heart is not there, no matter how u repair, it will never get it back.
for my own views,
to me, she has become or became a person who thinks in this world, there are right and wrong.
in this world, not only black and white. there are gray areas.
Please do consider the gray areas and i hope u will find ur answers.
back to me.=
i had organized a class outing to the mind cafe @ boat quay.
I got alot of feedback about the whole events.
firstly, thks for hunks and chicks for making an efforts for this event.
i can feel the high in the event.
Thks to royson for bring his friends to our event but...
i tot u were bringing ur vivian here! chey... anyway, these are guest of honor. they beef up the high.
thks for the feedback i receieved. i hope u all enjoy the event.
although i have some disappointment in myself.
i failed to make two group or rather three group into one.
i have really tried my best but still not enuff.
after the events, we go to lau pa sa for dinner and way back to boat quay for getting breezes.
it sure feel nice. makes me think of organizing a bbq near the sea. haha.. maybe
but still i will plan for the next events for IS0902.
Our class wants to feel more bond.
that's all for today.
" Assume is ASS U & ME "
zq
he gt a very bad issue wif some people.
although in this issue, is really very normal but still..
if issue not treated well, it can really go bad.
hurt are made, but this is not about fixing it back.
it still way back to the root, heart.
if heart is not there, no matter how u repair, it will never get it back.
for my own views,
to me, she has become or became a person who thinks in this world, there are right and wrong.
in this world, not only black and white. there are gray areas.
Please do consider the gray areas and i hope u will find ur answers.
back to me.=
i had organized a class outing to the mind cafe @ boat quay.
I got alot of feedback about the whole events.
firstly, thks for hunks and chicks for making an efforts for this event.
i can feel the high in the event.
Thks to royson for bring his friends to our event but...
i tot u were bringing ur vivian here! chey... anyway, these are guest of honor. they beef up the high.
thks for the feedback i receieved. i hope u all enjoy the event.
although i have some disappointment in myself.
i failed to make two group or rather three group into one.
i have really tried my best but still not enuff.
after the events, we go to lau pa sa for dinner and way back to boat quay for getting breezes.
it sure feel nice. makes me think of organizing a bbq near the sea. haha.. maybe
but still i will plan for the next events for IS0902.
Our class wants to feel more bond.
that's all for today.
" Assume is ASS U & ME "
zq
Friday, February 12, 2010
hello
hello, back to my world.
current time: 10:15 p.m
task: mathxl (haven even started to do the rest of the tut)
throw this away =.=
i know, things have to do no matter what.
Report this few days:-
tired as usual but cant get my clock correctly.
i think i mess up my internal clock. i cannt sleep well in the night. my goodness!
found huxley doing up his blog, way to go bro. at least i know how u feel, in ur heart.
roy is worrying his 小红帽(red hat); bro, u have tried best. stop worrying and get over it.
today go home wif quite a number of guest, they are kairong, marilyn. rare.
but i saw someone kept quiet when she leave. well, i saw it girl.
i know that we have a wall between us, and i don't know how to overcome this wall.
or rather i didn't cross my mind to go over. but on thoughts.
i feel that it's better that we stay in this way. cause i feel that we cant really talk.
or rather it's my problems to talk this way. mostly i believe it.
i can feel that our convo is always end up wif somethings goes too "high".
so i decided to keep my mouth shut infront of you. as i feel that you will feel more comfortable.
as for me, i do care about you. as long i can see you go happy, i'm fine with everything.
but in my heart, there is a place inside. i never expected that you will talk to me again.
i guess is better to stay it in this way. it's let me know where am i.
and i back to single. we found out that we don't have love in ourself.
we talked thru overseas phone. time proved that love flame can go off just like that.
we talked and show no sadness. we understand that if we have a chance or time to go back the same love, we can. but as for current; we are friends.
i'm not sad, or rather i feel it will go into this way.
i still do love her but someone has accidently went to my heart.
and my gf know it. she know i'm easily cross over the line. coz she also the same type as me. :)
but she didn't hate me for that. she forgive me but she also felt that it also her wrong.
i did not blame her on that. i have to admit that it is my fault.
to letting someone went to my heart. she gave me time.
time will solve this problem as she say i love you.
thinking what to say next. haha :)
i don't know. i think i must really start studying hard. because of this problem.
i lost all my passion of learning. thinking all the nonsense.
i have to drop every single thing i have inorder to move forward.
lastly:-
To someone,
maybe im thinking too much, but i dun think that u even care.
so basically, it is my problem. i don't hope or wish whatever.
staying in this relationship is okay for me.
im starting to get used to it. so if i really hurt you in the past,
i know sorry is not the best way to show but
i still gonna say.
I'm sorry, i didn't meant it this way. and i have made myself a fool.
you are fine but problems lies within me.
if you can see it, i'm glad that message is passed.
but if you can't see it, i only can say, i don't have to courage to say it.
maybe i think too much? maybe.
i tend to think too much.
okay. i guess that's it.
Happy Chinese New Year
新年快乐 万事如意
current time: 10:15 p.m
task: mathxl (haven even started to do the rest of the tut)
throw this away =.=
i know, things have to do no matter what.
Report this few days:-
tired as usual but cant get my clock correctly.
i think i mess up my internal clock. i cannt sleep well in the night. my goodness!
found huxley doing up his blog, way to go bro. at least i know how u feel, in ur heart.
roy is worrying his 小红帽(red hat); bro, u have tried best. stop worrying and get over it.
today go home wif quite a number of guest, they are kairong, marilyn. rare.
but i saw someone kept quiet when she leave. well, i saw it girl.
i know that we have a wall between us, and i don't know how to overcome this wall.
or rather i didn't cross my mind to go over. but on thoughts.
i feel that it's better that we stay in this way. cause i feel that we cant really talk.
or rather it's my problems to talk this way. mostly i believe it.
i can feel that our convo is always end up wif somethings goes too "high".
so i decided to keep my mouth shut infront of you. as i feel that you will feel more comfortable.
as for me, i do care about you. as long i can see you go happy, i'm fine with everything.
but in my heart, there is a place inside. i never expected that you will talk to me again.
i guess is better to stay it in this way. it's let me know where am i.
and i back to single. we found out that we don't have love in ourself.
we talked thru overseas phone. time proved that love flame can go off just like that.
we talked and show no sadness. we understand that if we have a chance or time to go back the same love, we can. but as for current; we are friends.
i'm not sad, or rather i feel it will go into this way.
i still do love her but someone has accidently went to my heart.
and my gf know it. she know i'm easily cross over the line. coz she also the same type as me. :)
but she didn't hate me for that. she forgive me but she also felt that it also her wrong.
i did not blame her on that. i have to admit that it is my fault.
to letting someone went to my heart. she gave me time.
time will solve this problem as she say i love you.
thinking what to say next. haha :)
i don't know. i think i must really start studying hard. because of this problem.
i lost all my passion of learning. thinking all the nonsense.
i have to drop every single thing i have inorder to move forward.
lastly:-
To someone,
maybe im thinking too much, but i dun think that u even care.
so basically, it is my problem. i don't hope or wish whatever.
staying in this relationship is okay for me.
im starting to get used to it. so if i really hurt you in the past,
i know sorry is not the best way to show but
i still gonna say.
I'm sorry, i didn't meant it this way. and i have made myself a fool.
you are fine but problems lies within me.
if you can see it, i'm glad that message is passed.
but if you can't see it, i only can say, i don't have to courage to say it.
maybe i think too much? maybe.
i tend to think too much.
okay. i guess that's it.
Happy Chinese New Year
新年快乐 万事如意
Thursday, January 14, 2010
tired
as usual tired.
tired of living.
tired of doing not worth of my time.
tired of listening to people while they don't even listen to me.
tired of speaking.
tired of studying.
tired of gaming.
tired of dreaming.
tired of my relationship.
tired of calling her oversea while she was busy, unable to pick up my call.
tired of doing the report which i did the most work.
tired of reading others peoples mind.
tired of living in this earth.
tired of living alone.
tired. tired. tired.
" It's time to press reset button. stop dreaming moron!! "
zq
tired of living.
tired of doing not worth of my time.
tired of listening to people while they don't even listen to me.
tired of speaking.
tired of studying.
tired of gaming.
tired of dreaming.
tired of my relationship.
tired of calling her oversea while she was busy, unable to pick up my call.
tired of doing the report which i did the most work.
tired of reading others peoples mind.
tired of living in this earth.
tired of living alone.
tired. tired. tired.
" It's time to press reset button. stop dreaming moron!! "
zq