In the search of the truth, hunting down my true-self

One weeks passed by. Too busy. Life dull as always. My heart at taiwan. Still stuck there.

Ok! Where to start? HTML.
Finally finished this pain ass assignment. although there are some problem in the coding.
Got problem in IE6,7,8. Can't projected image. Oh my god~
I dunno how to settle this coding problem. Well, not that i dun wan to solve but the knowlegel i have can't help me much.
Lazy~~ excuses~~

Ya. Agree. Very Agree. Starting to getting lazy. maybe because i dun have the force or energy to carry on this.
All my energy is on my ger. Sounds very "sticky" lolxx
but still gt one more to go, scott jones's assignement. Haiz.. give me a break~

Next - myself
I found myself get angry to alot of things which is in the past, i won't give a damn.
Well, what happen to me? idk-??
Maybe i started to show my hidden side.
Normally i dun realli show emotions to outsider or friends. Even best friends. Except which i normally do is juz laugh. loudly, cheeky, oddly(?). All kinds.
To those peoples who want to know me more, give up ba~!
I'm very anti-social. very~ although i dun show it but i would normally dun give a damn unless u are my ger or best friends.
Many people projected me as friendly, helpful, bossy, loudly voice, etc...
But that is not my true-self.
I'm rather ...... copying others people actions. I dun really have a character of myself.
I would juz copy the character that i know for the situations.
Too the straight, boring person.
Dunno what am i writing now... watever.. MY BLOG leh..

Truth ------------
One question in my mind - "should i just ignore other people concerns?"
These have been bugging me long time.
I remember that Tony (my boss who i work be4), said that dun ignore others people concerns.
why u do that?
I replied, "why should i care? i think they should mind their own business. stop showing fake concern!".
To me, I don't trust human beings. Words gives them the power to lie, to take someone life, to destroy someones dreams. I believe that the most powerful weapon is words, rather to be actual, Human spoken language.
Tony gave me a bible, asked to read about it. I read. Even believe my truth is the real truth.
Tony asked me, "do i believe in faith?"
"What is faith?" well, my angmos not good.
He explained but still i replied, "faith is something does not exist in my life"
He answered, "no, you haven receive faith yet. That's why you don't understand."

I still remember this conversation. Maybe i should receive faith. I should start to believe in things.
Maybe this will help me in my relationship, Overseas relationship. Help me in my life. My goals.

"Seeking the truth may let you down, but don't give up easily. Make miracle instead. Humans have the ability."

zq

Disappointed today

I feel sad, today since morning til now to the current time.
I found myself started to escape my problems.
Reluctant to do my Maths and Japanese work.
Feeling very tired about web project when i think of it there are so much work to do.
Started not to use my brain for the today's Maths quiz.

I am so disappointed of myself today.
It just not like me, so many negative thoughts.
I kept daydreams in the daytime.
I don't have any ideas what am i doing.

If i do something wrong or crazy on you all, my friends,
please forgive for my crazy actions or stupid words which i may offended to you.

I regretted that i have wasted one day of my time.
I hope that i can get it over soon, as soon as possible.

" There's are many ways to waste time. Why not use this time to relax yourself? Stop daydreaming~!! "

zq

Beer in hot weather~

Yes, Beer~!
Heineken one bot please.
No lah, not at coffeeshop. At home drinking.

These days is damn hot today, i been looking at the beer quite sometime.
But never touch because i think i should avoid it. Plus too busy to drink also.

Today is a special day, I have done the comms skills role play. One job done.
A little happy today, coz less things to do. Wahhaha~~

As for the beer, chilled cold beer is great. One slip is not enuff~~
Enjoying my mug while typing is damn great. (sorry huxley :) )
(u will say bo chio, i noe. lolxx)

Problems arise during the process in blog.
My ger, skool works, and many more.
I hope that i can solve all of them.
Wish me luck.~~~

p.s. Happy Birthday, June and Anson. Hopes yours wish comes true~~!!

zq

Too busy to PISSED OFF

Lately i been busy on someone matters.
And found out myself that i'm too kaypo.
Why say so?

Reasons are :-

I treated this person as a good friend, even used my sleep time to help this (let's call it as A).
but A can tell me, "Thanks for your help, i'm fine now"

Well, looking at this sentence. I should be happy isn't?
But there are more to come.

I know A is sad about something, so i asked A about it. Guess What?
"Nth lah, thks for your care. I'm alright"
All of the sudden, i got this cold reply.
So i wonder is it really something wrong. Asked one more time.
Same reply. This happens lot's of time. I tried to give more time for A.
Maybe A haven sort of it's feelings.

After weeks, it still gives this kinds of reply. I can't stand it and asked what happen.
In the end, i got reply like "thks but i'm ok". A is not telling anything. But i do really cared about it.
I got a very pissed off feelings. And i started to wonder why am i deserved this treatment.

Now, I got this been "used" feelings. Found out this friend is not a good friend.
My time is been wasted. I very pissed off because this friend is treating me very cold yet all these problems is not related to me at all (at least this how i think)
Tried to ask why, guess what. "i been treating everyone cold, not only you"

Huh? WTH.... i don't deserved this at all. I been showing care and concern yet i got this.

Maybe is my problem, poking into other peoples problem too much.
Anyway, i'm too busy to ask why anymore. I'm tired about A's friendship.
When i heard A saying about i'm A's good friend,
I wonder is A meant it or just for the sake of saying.
Your action doesn't shows what you say, A.

Whatever!~ I got my ger to worry, plus skoolwork plus many many other things.
Just felt i wasted too much time on A, yet i get this treatment.
I'M SO PISSED OFF.

And now, i'm typing in anger and disappointment. I will just treat this friend the same as before,
Good Friend.
Whatever A give me cold or warm shoulder is not longer matter to me.
Not happy or sad. No more, just treat it as a weather.
Rain or Shine. It's doesn't matter. Just carrying on my life.

" Friends are there to help you passed thru difficulty, but they do not deserved to be dump afterward "

zq