hello

hello, back to my world.
current time: 10:15 p.m
task: mathxl (haven even started to do the rest of the tut)
throw this away =.=
i know, things have to do no matter what.

Report this few days:-
tired as usual but cant get my clock correctly.
i think i mess up my internal clock. i cannt sleep well in the night. my goodness!
found huxley doing up his blog, way to go bro. at least i know how u feel, in ur heart.
roy is worrying his 小红帽(red hat); bro, u have tried best. stop worrying and get over it.
today go home wif quite a number of guest, they are kairong, marilyn. rare.
but i saw someone kept quiet when she leave. well, i saw it girl.

i know that we have a wall between us, and i don't know how to overcome this wall.
or rather i didn't cross my mind to go over. but on thoughts.
i feel that it's better that we stay in this way. cause i feel that we cant really talk.
or rather it's my problems to talk this way. mostly i believe it.

i can feel that our convo is always end up wif somethings goes too "high".
so i decided to keep my mouth shut infront of you. as i feel that you will feel more comfortable.
as for me, i do care about you. as long i can see you go happy, i'm fine with everything.
but in my heart, there is a place inside. i never expected that you will talk to me again.
i guess is better to stay it in this way. it's let me know where am i.

and i back to single. we found out that we don't have love in ourself.
we talked thru overseas phone. time proved that love flame can go off just like that.
we talked and show no sadness. we understand that if we have a chance or time to go back the same love, we can. but as for current; we are friends.

i'm not sad, or rather i feel it will go into this way.
i still do love her but someone has accidently went to my heart.
and my gf know it. she know i'm easily cross over the line. coz she also the same type as me. :)
but she didn't hate me for that. she forgive me but she also felt that it also her wrong.
i did not blame her on that. i have to admit that it is my fault.
to letting someone went to my heart. she gave me time.
time will solve this problem as she say i love you.

thinking what to say next. haha :)
i don't know. i think i must really start studying hard. because of this problem.
i lost all my passion of learning. thinking all the nonsense.
i have to drop every single thing i have inorder to move forward.

lastly:-

To someone,

maybe im thinking too much, but i dun think that u even care.
so basically, it is my problem. i don't hope or wish whatever.
staying in this relationship is okay for me.
im starting to get used to it. so if i really hurt you in the past,
i know sorry is not the best way to show but
i still gonna say.

I'm sorry, i didn't meant it this way. and i have made myself a fool.
you are fine but problems lies within me.

if you can see it, i'm glad that message is passed.
but if you can't see it, i only can say, i don't have to courage to say it.

maybe i think too much? maybe.
i tend to think too much.

okay. i guess that's it.

Happy Chinese New Year
新年快乐 万事如意

tired

as usual tired.
tired of living.
tired of doing not worth of my time.
tired of listening to people while they don't even listen to me.
tired of speaking.
tired of studying.
tired of gaming.
tired of dreaming.
tired of my relationship.
tired of calling her oversea while she was busy, unable to pick up my call.
tired of doing the report which i did the most work.
tired of reading others peoples mind.
tired of living in this earth.
tired of living alone.
tired. tired. tired.

" It's time to press reset button. stop dreaming moron!! "

zq

Sorry

Sorry

Understanding

thoughts for today:-
tired, still have maths to go. tut7.
comms skills report by wk 13.
network report by wk 16.
OOJ by wk 17.

holiday is screwed, dun think i can rest.
finally done my cpf issue, but still i nid to write a letter to finance nyp.
oh well, bummer. no idea how to type it out.
business ethics essay quiz is at this Thursday.
sure is hard. trying very hard for all the problems i faced.
this Friday meeting my bro for java. hope he can teach me some tricks.

i feel tired, wanted to talk to my ger but she busy.
i think we are in the end, sometimes.
we dun realli have any talks between us. sometimes we speak silence thru phone.
maybe we noe each other very well? maybe. i'm sure i noe her very well.. haha maybe.
hux and me go to BK for munch. talks about alot of things.
no idea why we talks alot of things. but still, he is a good friend.
stopping talking nonsense. learned to listen silence.
more works on hand than my ill mouth.
starting to get rid of my bad habits.
good signs. i guess.

i think that's it. sign off.

zq

" long distance relationship is hard to maintain but i will keep trying til she throw me away "

I wonder

I wonder anyone looking at my blog?
I wonder what is my ger doing?
I wonder how am i suppose to solve all the issues?
I wonder how long can i stand in this world?
I wonder after i fall apart, where am i going?
I wonder when is the so called best friend going to talk to me again?
I start to wonder, wonder and wonder. *Stone*

I wonder the effort to keep the friendship is worth keeping?
I wonder when can i get back my attitude on study?
I wonder when can i start to think better?
I wonder when am i going to start to cut my fat down?
I start to wonder again, again and again. *Stone*

I wonder my love between with her is it still there?
I wonder is there anyone care about me while i care too much for others?
I wonder is there anyone heard my voice?
I wonder is success start from habits?
I wonder can i identify my bad habits?
I wonder should i close my blog since no one cares?
I start to stone, again and again. *Wonder*

" I wonder... "

zq

Asada Ryutaro

Asada Ryutaro - Skilled Surgeon (Team Medical Dragon)

" I can't forsake the patients whose going to die in front of my eyes "
" Trust them, they are the real doctors. "
" No matter what is going to happen to me, I'm going to save them "
" We are team, without you. We are nothing! "
" He know that he is a sinner, but he have no choice to chose this path.
But you are forced to walk this path that's the path he wishes. Keep walking. "
" I will not give up even is just 0.1%. I will save him from the depth of death. "
" Cases in the medical book are not the same as the real cases. "


zq

Killing me Softly in my Heart

My gal SmS me.
Rare, but nice to see.
She asking why i didnt call her.
She miss me. So do i.
but i dun have money to call her.
yes.. no money. i'm in a very deep hole.
maybe later part, i wont be in Nyp.
i realli nid love to continue this Trial.
i need strength for now.
i'm such a weakling.

" Love or Bread, choose one. "

zq